This is an awful morning. I worry about you. I don’t know why though. You make it clear there’s nothing wrong. Isn’t that an obvious reason why I should. Distance is a two-way game. And it’s a motherfucking game, that is what it is.
When it is about abstracts, the dreams are fulfilled from day one. You are what my dreams are made of. Even if we split, one way or another, if we get tired, of life, of each other; there still will be that one spot there where your eyes will shine when my name’s spelled. And your name’ll be cherished in my heart forever; along with my hopes, my disappointments, my I-wishes, my long-befores.
But that’s irrelevant now. Now we’ve got all the chance in the world. We’ve got our desperations, longitude, and sorrow. But we’ve got our love, too. Until now I respected your pace. Sometimes I regretted that but overall, I was ok with that. I waited while you were getting bigger and bigger in my thoughts. Yet you kept your promise. You always keep your promises to me.
But what about your own promises? You thought you were centered towards yourself yesterday. Is this an omen you think you deserve, or do you wish it to become a self-fulfilling prophecy?
You are so far away from being egocentric even when cats are concerned. So there must be something wrong with humans. And there is.
But acceptance is the last stage of death. Aren’t we all dying as we live? Acceptance is inevitable. Taking risks is all about life. You know that better than I do. But your comfort cuddles you like no other right now. Comfort is the worst of addictive substances. It kills your perception first, then it renders you unwilling. Unwilling for anything.
But then again there are cats.
Remember the cats,
Never forget the cats, dear Tamarik.
I will be there when they gather to receive whatever kindness you have in store for them each and every other day.